Relationship strength

Know who you really know.

Coffee Brain gives every relationship an honest strength from 1 to 5, worked out from the conversations and meetings that actually happened — not from who you think you are close to. Open it and you see exactly how it got there.

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A contact page with the relationship strength badge opened: Strong, 4 out of 5, and the points each factor added — recency, silence decay, frequency, meetings and a star — summing to the score.

Why it matters

Your sense of a relationship drifts from the truth

“How well do I actually know this person?” sits behind most networking decisions, and the honest answer is usually not the one you would guess.

Memory flatters

One great conversation two years ago can feel like a close friendship today, while someone you talk to every month barely registers.

Quiet goes unnoticed

Relationships rarely end; they fade. Nothing tells you a good connection has gone silent until you need it.

A contact list is flat

Every name looks the same weight, so it is hard to see who to invest in, and who could actually introduce you.

How it works

Relationship strength in three steps

  1. 1

    Only real interactions count

    Emails, messages and meetings that actually happened feed the score. Someone you have never really spoken with gets no score at all, rather than a guess.

  2. 2

    Recency, rhythm and meetings

    How recently you last spoke, how often you have in the last 90 days, and whether you met in person or on a call all add up to a score, sorted into a strength from 1 to 5.

  3. 3

    You can see why

    Open any contact’s strength to see the points each factor added. Disagree? Set it by hand, and the formula’s own answer stays visible beside yours.

What it does

Tuned to how your network works

Your weights, per network

Decide how much frequency, meetings and a star are worth. A client network and a community network do not have to score relationships the same way.

Signals you can switch on

Let silence slowly lower a score, weigh who reaches out to whom, and reward genuine two-way exchange — each off until you turn it on.

Preview, then recalibrate

Pick a few people you know well and watch their scores move as you tune. Recalibrate when it looks right; scores you set by hand are never overwritten.

Use cases

When it pays off most

Decide who to invest in

Filter your contacts to the strong relationships, and notice the ones slipping before they are gone.

Find the warmest path

Trying to reach someone you do not know? Coffee Brain finds the route through your network whose weakest link is strongest.

Put the right people first

Strength feeds each contact’s importance score, so the people who matter rise to the top of your lists.

See it

Relationship strength, inside Coffee Brain

A contact page with the relationship strength badge opened: Strong, 4 out of 5, and the points each factor added — recency, silence decay, frequency, meetings and a star — summing to the score.
Every strength opens to show its arithmetic: the points each factor added, and the total.
The Contacts list filtered to a minimum relationship strength of 3, each person carrying a strength badge.
Filter your contacts to the relationships that are actually strong.
The relationship strength settings for a network: the weight of each factor, and two sample contacts whose scores update as the weights change.
Tune the weights for your network and preview the effect on people you know before you apply it.

Get started

See your network as it really is

Create an account with just your email, connect your inbox and calendar, and every relationship gets an honest strength from the history you already have.

Get started — it’s free

Already a member? Sign in

Included in the Pro plan. Compare the plans